Go COCKS!!!
Saturday is the big game!! I havent given up all hope of scoring a ticket. These were the seats we had for the Kentucky game, and once you've been down here theres simply no going back to the cheap seats. I put my feelers out but came back empty handed. If you guys know of a single ticket available, shoot me an email anytime before Saturday!

On Rejecting Ordinary

I absolutely detest average. Average does not make great societies. Average is mediocre and bland. Average is common, plain vanilla, and middle of the road. Yet average seems to be an increasingly more prevalent state of mind. Slackers and perennial underachievers are commonplace; even where we would least expect to find them. My own son believes that if he makes "decent" grades he should be able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to; as if a C average were something to be remotely proud of.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, it took me a while to realize that the world was full of ordinary people. In high school I relished the fact that I could breeze through the state minimum curricula; never bringing a book home and still make passing grades. I knew that with some effort I could ace every course, but I didn't put forth that effort because if average was good enough for everyone else, it was surely good enough for me. No one told me that acing the state minimum curriculum should be considered average, and that excellence was in fact a much higher goal. I didn't realize that if the bar was set at excellence, the world would be full of great minds. Great minds who do great things. Average people only do average things.

When I graduated high school I didn't know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to be done with school. Accepting my diploma I didn’t feel proud or accomplished because deep down in the bowels of my soul I knew I hadn’t really accomplished anything. I felt strangely ashamed of myself, but I pressed on towards mediocrity anyway, following the majority of my classmates into an average and ordinary life. I got a job and went to work. I hung out with my friends at the local bars every chance I got. I lived above the garage at my parent's house. I suppressed my shame and made myself content with an ordinary existence.

Several years later I ran into a kid I went to high school with. I had known him well. However, although we had much in common, I naively shunned him as a friend. A lanky member of the brass section in our school's marching band, he was teased relentlessly. Though we had been in the Boy Scouts together for years, I tended not to associate with him outside of that setting for fear of damaging my already fragile social status. He recognized me right away and came over to say hello. He was friendly and gracious; and considering I was noticeably uneasy and embarrassed about being complicit in his frequent humiliation, he seemed genuinely happy to see me.

We reminisced for a while and went through the whole "what have you been up to" routine. I told him proudly that I was working in the engine factory making good pay, that I got plenty of overtime, and had paid vacation and benefits. I even offered to put in a good word for him, recounting that I had been instrumental in getting Pete and Frankie on full time at the factory too, cautioning that if he were interested he would have to start at the bottom and work his way up. He claimed to appreciate the offer.

So blindly content with the mundane, I didn’t realize that I had just offered a night shift production job to a guy who three months prior graduated Magna Cum Laud from Emory University and was recently accepted into the Medical College of Georgia. I stood in front of him, inglorious in a navy blue uniform with my first name in script on the shirt lapel as the indignity and shame of my underachievement was unveiled for the world to see. For the first time in my life I allowed myself to see who I had become. I finally admitted that I had set the bar so low that I eventually tripped over it.

I immediately changed how I viewed the world around me and vowed to never be satisfied with average. Now, I struggle with my own sons’ insistence on being typical. I don’t know when that moment of humble revelation will be for him. I’m hoping it’s sooner rather than later. Understanding that setting the bar of achievement at your personal best is liberating. It frees us to reach our full potential, live extraordinary lives, and go on to do great things. "There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity." - Buck Rodgers

Back Porch Addition

So, Here it is! It's finally finished...well, almost finished. We're enjoying it already though. I would love to take credit for the work, but this craftmenship is the handywork of my friend Smitty. It's all 6"x6" treated stock set in concrete, complete with picture framed decking and a awesome stainless steel wire rail system. We spent way more than we wanted on it, but the results were well worth it... and we don't owe a dime on it. We saved for a few months and paid for the bulk of the work in weekly installments. Smitty was awesome about the project from the begining, and we gave him creative control for the most part. I think we only had three change orders throughout the entire build. I'm most pleased with the beadboard ceiling. We still have to skirt around the bottom and waterseal the top decking, but it's complete enough to enjoy. In fact, I'm planning on having a halloween party back there this weekend!

Foundation Repair...

So, the Carolina Bungalow seems to be slipping into the abyss, at least until this past week that is. I knew when we bought the place the she was listing starboard, but we figured it had settled all it was going to over the last hundred years or so. Our home inspector agreed. So, we set about restoring everything except the pitching floors. I put in wainscoting and crown moldings. I caulked all the joints tight. The next summer, the crown joints reopened, and some of the plaster cracks reappeared. I was concerned, but felt that with little or no insulation in the post and beam structure, changes in humidity probably caused the excessive expansion and contraction, exposing cracks as a result. During the Flowertown festival that spring, the granddaughter of a former resident stopped by to see how the renovation was coming along. When we asked her about the floor, she recollected that it was just as uneven in the 1950's, so it wasn't a recent phenomenon. I was relieved, and charged on under a new found sense of assurance. That summer, I had the windows replaced, and man what a difference that made. The house really seemed to come together with the operational and efficient windows.

This spring the weather was intoxicating, so I decided to open up the house and let the flowering Jasmine rejuvenate our home from the greyness of winter. I was shocked when I found my new windows binding. A sinking feeling swept over me as I struggled to open the double hungs on the westward side of the house. I knew something had to be done. I called Mt Valley Foundation Repair Services, and I feared the worst. I searched around the Internet in an effort to build a mental estimate. I needed to know what to expect. Quotes ranged from six thousand to more than twenty thousand. I needed to draw a line in the sand. What is the most I will spend to shore up the foundation without reaching the dreaded negative equity point? Mt Valley sent out a very experienced and knowledgeable inspector to assess the situation. He did a thorough inspection inside and out and felt confident that the root cause of the problem was a long since removed Cyprus tree, whose massive stump caused a sinkhole as it decayed over the years. He recommended two Drive-Right piers driven thirty feet into bedrock to stabilize two sinking brick foundation points. Total estimate: $2400. I was excited and thrilled that correcting this ongoing problem wasn't going to break me. I can't say enough about Mt. Valley Foundation Repair Services. They showed up when they said they would, they did the work they quoted, and they thoroughly cleaned up the job site when the were finished. Out of all the contractors I have dealt with in the past, Mount Valley Foundation Repair Services definitely stands a cut above. I would recommend them to anyone facing similar "keep you up at night" problems...and with the lifetime transferrable warranty you can rest assured that they'll stand behind the repair. Oh, and the windows? They open as smootlhy as the day they were installed.

Aiming at the middle.....

Ohio State University researchers seem to have found a measurable relationship between marital expectation and satisfaction. They studied 82 married couples for a period of four years. According to James McNulty, co-author of the study and assistant professor of psychology at OSU’s Mansfield campus, couples who had lower expectations didn't suffer the steep declines in marital satisfaction when compared to peers with delusions of Happy Days sitcoms dancing around in their heads. “Over the long term, it is important for marriage partners to have accurate knowledge of their relationship’s strengths and weaknesses,” McNulty said. “Satisfaction goes down when a spouse’s expectations don’t fit with reality.”
“There’s been a lot of emphasis on the idea of positive illusions in marriage,” McNulty said. “Sure, it may make you happy in the short-run to think your spouse is better than he or she actually is, but if the reality doesn’t match the image, eventually your satisfaction is going to decline.”
Why is this groundbreaking? Well, it’s not really. Choose your euphemism: “pick your battles”, or “don’t sweat the small stuff”. The point is that you adapt. You overlook some things, and give up on others. This certainly isn’t your run of the mill daytime talk show advice; in fact, the results are contrary to the advice of mainstream therapists who believe couples should always have high expectations for their marriage.
Me? I don’t know that I would call it lowering ones expectations, but I will say that having a healthy sense of reality goes a long way. The OSU researchers interviewed the couples at six-month intervals–a total of eight tests over the four year period. Interestingly enough, of the 82 couples, 17 were divorced by the end of the study.
I found an interesting quote on another blog about expectations in the era right after the Civil War. Here's a sample of a personal ad from the late 1800s:
"I am 33 years of age, and as regards looks can average with most men. I am looking for a lady to make her my wife, as I am heartily tired of bachelor life. I desire a lady not over 28 or 30 years of age, not ugly, well educated and musical. Nationality makes no difference, only I prefer not to have a lady of Irish birth. She must have at least $20,000. " Really???

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average...

I have friends considering relocating to the Lowcountry, empty nesters of sorts. They’ve had the good fortune to experience life in a number of places, and are leaning towards our neck of the woods for their next chapter. I was asked what my ideal location would be if I could be anywhere I wanted. As a lowcountry native, where would I want to be? Where is that idyllic southern charm?

Hmmm. Good question; and quite honestly, its one I’ve never really tried to answer. I mean, I do know what I like and don’t like, so I guess that’s a start. The more I thought about the question though, the more I realized that this was an exercise I had to indulge, not so much for my friends, but for me.

Ideal - I don't know. Something with water though, even if it's inaccessible. I need the view. I also know that I want to stay in the Lowcountry. I get a sense of place here. For instance, my pharmacy still sells "the roots"... and by roots I mean traditional Gullah accoutrements like courthouse wash for cleaning the steps of the courthouse prior to a trial. Useful stuff, that is, if you should find yourself in such an unfortunate predicament. They also carry graveyard dirt, doves’ blood, and “do-as-I-say powder”...and no, I am not kidding. Now, it's not all out in the open. I mean - you do have to know to ask for it, but the fact that they still carry such paraphernalia is encouraging. You're not going to find that stuff just anywhere.

I'd also like to be able to walk or ride a bike to the market. Not just any market, but a well stocked market that carries local vegetables and traditional staples that keep one connected to the community and help to establish that sense of place. I need a good bookstore, a good coffee shop, a friendly barber, a clean pub, and some shade too. Shade can never be overestimated. I also need to be able to buy local shrimp and oysters. I'm proud of the fact that my six year old daughter knows how to shuck oysters, and as kind a soul as she is, she also knows that crabs are for eating and not for pets.

To me, pluff mud smells heavenly, and the scent of dry pine in the summer heat makes me homesick. I need a garden, although I will complain relentlessly about having to care for it. I need confederate jasmine, azaleas, lady banks roses, hydrangeas, and a few camellias to get me through the dreary albeit short winters. Grass is optional as I prefer ivy. As far as the house itself, lots of windows and a screen porch are my only criteria, unless you count the no vinyl declaration, which is more of an ultimatum than any sort of criteria. Hardie-plank is an acceptable alternative to Cyprus, but only if the original Cyprus has hurricane or insect damage (unlikely in either case).

I would also prefer to be within 50 miles of a college or University. If I have to pass a tractor on my way to pick up some milk, I'm getting warmer. A municipality that would relocate a power pole rather than trim a shade tree would also get high marks. I like the architecture of old churches too, but church-goers...not so much. Proximity to friends is very important, although we fancy ourselves as old souls and believe we have friends everywhere already, whether we have met them yet or not. Sidewalks are also good. If the concrete in the sidewalk contains crushed oyster shells, it's even better.

A place like this couldn't possibly be kept a secret, so a no tourist edict would be impractical. No Myrtle Beach tourist though, they're just plain bad. Bad, bad, bad. Eco-Tourist, maybe, but definitely none of those mini golf aficionados.

I also want some chickens, and maybe a goat too. In my hometown, many people still keep chickens. Some people even have peacocks. The old lady that lived down the street from me where I grew up had two peacocks. They were loud in more ways than one. My mom still refers to the gays as "peacocks” -

"My, he's a real peacock that one is".

Pinnacle Studio 12

So, my son and I have been goofing around with entry level video editing. He got a handy-cam for his birthday last year and recently showed an interest in digitally editing the scenes he shot, which were mostly of him and his friends skateboarding. We tried windows movie maker, but the product is woefully inadequate for anything other than a quick and dirty title edit. So, when I saw the Pinnacle Software while out Christmas shopping, I just had to get it. We did the walk through and sample "Family Video" that comes with the application. It's truly awesome. Intuitive and easy to use, even for my son... who has the patience of a wet cat. It even came with a "Green-Screen" for chroma-key effects. We haven't got that far, but I can see superman style flying scenes in his future. Check out our first cut...

Christmas fun with the Jedi Mind Trick...

So, I'm over at the in-laws visiting for Christmas. My nephew (all boy-high-ya-karate kicking eight year old ball of energy) has received quite possibly an illegal amount of geek-laden sci-fi related paraphernalia for Christmas. I think he even got a lightsaber that emanated movie sounds when swooshed in mock battle. On the floor in the living room was a giant box of dragon master inspired action figures. Everything from Star Wars to Halo. I didn't even know there was such a thing. X-Box action figures? C'mon, Really??

So, I'm having a Bourbon with my brother-in-law (father of said nephew) when I comment on the impressive collection...

Me: "You know...He's gonna be that guy"
Brother-in-Law: "What Guy?"
Me: "The 30 year old one who lives in your basement and wears the chewbacca mask to the conventions"
Brother-in-Law: "Your crazy" --perplexed, perhaps terrified...couldn't tell from my angle replies-- "You guys wanna go out and toss the football some??"

Thats what you call the perfect execution of a Jedi mind trick...

Sha-zaaammm!

HP TouchSmart...

This is the expression I had when I powered up my new 22'' touchsmart PC. Yep. Grinning ear to ear. I can't say it was all surprise though... after all, I picked it out, purchased it, and wrapped it. I was however, quite surprised at how easy it was to get going right out of the box. No messy wires; all peripherals are bluetooth compatible. I plugged the coax into the back and the easy-to-use setup wizard walked me through configuring my TV. That's right, it's a TV too. It starts by asking for your zip code. It then connects to the internet to provide a list of cable providers in your area. You select your provider and it automatically downloads your channel line up and configures your guide. DVR is as easy as it is on your set top box, and it comes with a familiar remote control. Loaded with windows Vista and the latest office suite, it makes a nice homework center / YouTube toy too. When you consider the price of a 22" LCD TV with an integrated DVD Player and recorder, oh yeah, and a computer...the price is definitely right, perhaps even cheaper than purchasing the components separately, and it just happens to be the coolest thing around. Can't you tell by the look on my face??

Almost There...

My knees are killing me and my back aches, but I'm nearly finished. I still have to add the crown molding and install the shower components. I'm waiting on the latter since I have to order most of the pieces from clawfoot supply. Once the other components are in I'll enjoy a nice soak. So, the punch list is getting smaller...

• Install marble threshold
• Install doors (closet and bathroom)
• Grout the shower wall
• Install shower ring
• Install the shower fixture
• Plumb tub drain and trap
• Wall paper the hall
• Install the crown molding
• Finish painting the wainscoting
• Caulk the baseboards
• Paint the ceiling

So, all in all not too bad. I managed to get most of it done without any major complications other than the perpetual lack of energy and time. We did have one problem as a result of the master bath rebuild...We had planned on taking advantage of the low interest rates with a refinance. I locked in at a nice 4.7 % fixed rate. I stood to save myself a few hundred dollars a month, but the appraiser showed up when the bathroom was down to the studs with a hole in the floor. He could only calculate our homes value based on one bathroom. He said the value would obviously go up when the area was completed, based on quality of course; but the blow was devastating. With only the one bathroom we were $25,000 to $30,000 dollars off target. We could expect an easy $40,000 dollar return when the project is completed, but the timing couldn't have been worse. So, that $300 dollars a month I was counting on just became a casualty of procrastination. I wish that I had completed the bathroom sooner, but maybe it was fate. Maybe rates will dip even further and I'll save $350 a month.

Drywall Complete

I've been asked several times why I don't do drywall. People will say "you guys do everything else, what is the problem with drywall?" My response is always the same...a mans got to know his limitations, and mine is drywall. Sure, it's relatively inexpensive at less than four dollars a sheet, but after many attempts, I'm convinced that finishing drywall is an art form perfected over time by skilled craftsman. For instance, when I got home Tuesday evening, I was puzzled by how the crew was able to hang the drywall, mud it, let it dry AND sand it...all in one day. Upon closer examination though, I found my answer. It had not been sanded. That's how unbelievably perfect they feathered the joints; it hadn't been sanded yet but it stilled looked better than my finished work, and they were in and out in two days. It would have taken me twice as long just to hang it. When considering the cost of time, hiring a pro to back you up just makes sense.

Master Bathroom Taking Shape

Well, my attempt to have the master bath completed before Christmas might actually happen. This has been a long time coming, and as you can see from the photos, it's quite the transformation. This has been without question the most challenging of all of our projects given that the floor was so ridiculously uneven. I did everything I could short of ripping out the entire sub floor and re-framing it. Because this was once a porch, it is pitched somewhat. Not terrible, but I wouldn't want to fumble around in there in the dark; or after a few drinks. Anthony is putting up the drywall today, so I expect to be trimming it out this week. Stay tuned.

Christmas Parade

The Summerville Christmas Parade was held this past weekend. I was pleasantly surprised by the turnout and the parade itself. There was this little kid in front of us that was maybe six or seven years old. He screamed "Merry Christmas!!" to every float that went by. It must have fired up the volunteers because they all genuinely smiled and waved and repeated his cries for a joyous season. Future head of our chamber of commerce no doubt.

Tiling the Master Bath

We spent most of the weekend tiling the master bathroom. I used hardie-board as an underlayment and we laid down a classic basket weave mossaic tile. We are very pleased with the way it turned out, although we should have cleaned the grout haze a bit sooner. I ended up having to use a polisher to remove the residue. I didn't want to lay the tile before the dry wall was installed, but circumstances forced the order of precedence. In order to get the huge clawfoot tub into the new space, we needed to leave the area by the door unframed, which meant that the floor needed to be tiled first. Once the tub is in, I'll frame in the door and have the drywall finished. Of course, we'll use Anthony for the drywall work.

On the Obama and National Healthcare

After Obamas stunning victory Tuesday, I got an email from an old friend asking if we were concerned about the ramifications of socialized national healthcare on our business. I was asked how we would prepare. I was asked if I was happy about the election results. My friend Larry put it best in his response to the recent voting experience...I didn't see "none of the above" on the ballot. Amen brother, and ditto.

So in response to my other friends inquiry...how will we prepare?

I get it, believe me, but I have seen the worst in the business, and yes: healthcare is a business. I want to tell you a story that I think illustrates what I'm talking about here. A few months ago, we were pursuing a contract with a 42 bed rehab facility (physical, not substance). The facility was across the street from a major hospital, and seen many of the long term care patients after they were discharged from the neighboring acute care facility.

Patients that have been sedentary for an extended period of time can develop blood clots in their lower extremities, a potentially deadly condition called DVT (deep vein thrombosis). This condition is easily detected by MRI with contrast, but MRI is expensive and insurance companies won't pay for it simply to rule out a certain condition. DVT is also easily diagnosed with vascular ultrasound, a portable and much less expensive modality. Still, insurance won't cover the DVT ultrasound because in such cases it would be considered a screening, and therefore unnecessary.

Lets compound the problem...The rehab center is scared to death of DVT. If they admit a patient that has all of the classic warning signs of potential DVT...swelling, edema, sedentary for an extended period, trauma or surgery in the lower extremities... then they are assuming a huge liability. What if the clot breaks loose when they put the patient into physical therapy? The patient could die. Would the family sue the insurance company? The hospital? No, of course not...they sue the rehab center. So since the rehab center is not chartered to do diagnostic imaging, they would simply admit the patients, never take them off the gurney, then turn right around and send them back to the hospital for an ultrasound...on the rehab center's dime of course, because an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?

This whole ordeal is like a six hour process for the patient. Oh, and how do they get them back to the hospital for the ultrasound? Ambulance of course. $400 dollars each way. So, here we come...we show up on our white horses offering to bring the ultrasound to the rehab center for a flat fee, everybody wins, right?

When talking to the administrator of the rehab center I discovered perhaps the most disturbing bit of insight that I had heard in years. While we were trying to negotiate a time frame that we could arrive and see his patients, he informs me quite casually that they never admit patients from the hospital across the street before 2pm. This presented a small challenge for me since I only had two morning slots available. If he wanted afternoons, I would have to rearrange a tech or go hire someone. Not a big issue, but big enough for me to pry a little deeper.

"So, why do you only admit in the afternoon?" I asked. "Simple", he says with a perplexed, "I can't believe I have to explain this" sort of look on his face... "The first shift nursing staff at the hospital across the street get off at three in the afternoon. If they release a patient before two, they have to prep the room for a new patient, set IV's, capture the new patients vitals, etc. You know, do some actual work. If they release their patients after 2pm, the second shift has to admit the new patients."

So there you have it. Now you know. Now you know why you have to wait forever. It is sad really, but very, very true. Fixing that is to fix our collective morality, and althouh Obama's good, I've seen no water-walking from the guy yet.

Tagged and Released.

We hit the "secret spot" again this past Friday. I ended up empty handed, but D landed this really nice 32" spot. She had been previously tagged, but he'll report her ID to DNR so they can track her location. Not that it matters, but you get a free T-Shirt out of the deal too. This fish was landed, again, with a root beer colored tube jig, and it ran out damn near a full spool and took some real work to revive once it finally gave in. He had to drag her out to deeper water to get her moving again, but she eventualy swam off under her own power. Not ten minutes later he landed another, slightly larger one. I wasn't so lucky. I spooked one with a bad cast, and had some poor casting attempts at others. This sight fishing for Reds takes some skill, and I'm begining to think that I have very little of what skills are required. I'll keep trying, and will keep you posted on my progress.

Master Bathroom Remodel (read "REBUILD")

I got tired of the disgusting bathroom and ripped it out, thinking that the vast expanse of emptiness and the inconvenience of four people sharing one bathroom might help to motivate me. It has. So far I have entirely gutted the space, which included cutting out the fiberglass tub enclosure, removing the commode, and ripping out a horribly designed closet that cut the bathroom in half. I then had to level the floor, which essentially meant skinning it with 1/4 inch OSB. I then ripped out the really, really bad drywall job since I needed to reroute the plumbing and electrical anyway. I'll have Anthony come in and finish it off when I'm ready to close it up. We plan to tile a traditional black and white octagonal mosaic, with subway tile on the shower wall. This is going to be a traditional bathroom design, in keeping with the character of the house. I hope that it will go quickly once the drywall is completed. The large claw foot tub will be the center piece of the room, set on an angle. Exposed chrome fillers and drain piping will accent the installation. In the corner I have framed in a shower wall which will feature an exposed chrome shower fixture with a separate Victorian hand shower attachment. All of the fixtures will be the same victorian style chrome. As with past projects, we put together a spend plan and budget and try to adhere to it as best that we can. So far we have done pretty good sticking to the plan. Some of the fixtures are shown below...

John Carneys 101 tips for living

• You should never have to match your socks, other than to separate black from white; buy 18 pairs of identical socks in each color and throw them all out every six months.
• Pants with pleats get cuffs; pants without, do not.
• Avoid large faced watches if you have thin wrists.
• Sunglasses may only be worn indoors after 1 a.m.
• Carry around those small bottles of hand sanitizer and use some before you eat.
• Business casual was invented to prevent younger people from dressing better than their bosses. Rebel and wear a suit or jeans.
• If you need to put stuff in your hair to add shine or hold, you are washing your hair too often.
• Yes, you do have to floss.
• If you are handling a small baggy in a bathroom stall, face away from the open toilet and you will never drop it in there.
• When a friend calls after a drunken night, never say, “You were so funny.”
• Avoid staying out past midnight three nights in a row.
• You can ignore the three-night rule if something really good comes up on the third night.
• You will regret your tattoos.
• If you wear a baseball cap in bars, the girls will suspect you are bald.
• Go to more baseball games.
• Time is too short to do your own laundry.
• When the bartender asks, you should already know what you are ordering.
• Learn how to speak before groups.
• An undershirt will prevent you from perspiring through your overshirt.
• Yes, you do have to go to the gym.
• Complaining about other people smoking makes you an ass.
• Stop talking about where you went to college.
• When people don’t invite you to parties, you really shouldn’t go.
• Sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
• You can ignore those rules about parties if it is a really, really good party.
• Drink plenty of coffee.
• People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
• When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
• Tip more than you should.
• If a book is too big to carry around comfortably, cut it up and carry the pages you can read.
• Yes, you do have to have your shoes shined.
• It’s okay to arrive late.
• You probably use your cell phone too often and at the wrong moments.
• Do not spend very much money on sunglasses or umbrellas. You will lose them quickly.
• Do thirty-push ups before you shower each morning.
• Eat brunch with friends every other weekend.
• Be a regular at a bar.
• Read more. And not just biographies.
• If her friends hate you, it’s over.
• A glass of wine with lunch will not ruin your day.
• It’s better if old men cut your hair. They should charge less than $20.
• If you smoke pot, you probably smoke too much.
• Learn how to fly-fish.
• Ask for a salad instead of fries.
• Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them. Ask someone for an introduction.
• You cannot always make amends with people.
• Buy furniture that you think is too small for your apartment. It isn’t.
• Cobblers will save your shoes.
• Figure out what kind of knot you like in your ties and stick with it.
• The first round of drinks is on you.
• When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
• Hang your clothes up when you take them off.
• Except sweaters. Those get folded.
• Piercings are liabilities in fights.
• You’ll regret much more the things you didn’t do than the things you did.
• Do not buy the product insurance.
  Except for mobile phones. Always insure the phone.
• Celebrate mothers on Father’s Day, and fathers on Mother’s Day.
• You may remove your jacket and roll up your sleeves. The tie may not be loosened.
• It’s not that you’re unphotogenic. That’s just how you look.
• Do not use an electric razor.
• Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
• Keep rugs and carpets to a minimum.
• Carry a pocket knife.
• Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.
• Subscribe to a small-circulation magazine.
• It should have a cork-screw. The knife. Not the magazine.
• One girlfriend is probably enough.
• After one day of hanging, your tie should be rolled and placed in a drawer.
• People will dance if the music is loud enough and the lights are dim enough. You should too.
• Throw parties. But don’t clean up during or after your party. Hire someone else to come do that the next day, which you’ll be spending somewhere else.
• You may only request one song from the DJ.
• Take pictures. One day it will be fun to laugh at them.
• When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them.
• And spend money to acquire their work.
• Sleep outdoors when you can.
• Your clothes do not match. They go together.
• Yes, you do have to buy her dinner.
• Staying angry is a waste of energy.
• Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.
• Go to the theater.
• Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
• Ask cab drivers not to speak on the phone.
• When the bouncer says it’s time for you to leave, it is.
• Do not make a second date while you are still on your first.
• Avoid the “last” glass of whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.
• If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid very loud clubs.
• Drink outdoors.
• Drink during the day.
• Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
• If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
• You should probably walk away anyway.
• See more bands than you have been recently.
• You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
• Place-dropping is worse than name dropping.
• The New Yorker is not a high-brow magazine.
• You aren’t really a great DJ. Those people are dancing because they are drunk.
• Don’t let that discourage you. If they’re having fun, you are doing your job.
• If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
• No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
• Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can eat at the bar.
• Get out of the city every now and then.
• The parties you miss won’t miss you. And you won’t really miss them either.
• Never date an ex of your friend.

Reclaiming the porch

My wife and I have a punch list a mile long. The remodel has taken its toll on us both physically as well as financially. The momentum has slowed over the winter, but with the mild weather we have experienced recently we thought we would refocus our efforts to the outdoor spaces. Our grounds are really nice, with mature indigenous plantings covering most of the lot. We have camellias, azaleas, hydrangeas, jasmine and honeysuckle growing everywhere. Wisteria covers the entire canopy. We also have the largest Sycamore tree in town, as well as several Live Oaks, a Bald Cyprus, and two huge Magnolia trees. And in keeping with the Carolina tradition, we have a nice Palmetto tree out back. Since we converted the garage into our office space, all of those things you might normally find in ones garage have resided on our screen porch… for two years.

The screen porch was one of the biggest attractions for us when we purchased the property, but with no real storage alternatives we have yet to enjoy it. Our lawn tools have been rusting under the eaves of the house and I kept a large galvanized tub over my mower. The kid’s bikes have long since been consumed by the elements. Our goal has been to create some storage and reclaim our screen porch. As soon as I had saved enough money I began researching shed plans, but my initial idea of building my own storage shed was overruled by my wife who argued that it would take me the entire summer to complete. She insisted we could have it finished in a weekend for just a few hundred dollars more if we opted to purchase it from one of the home centers. I feared that the campy barn designs would not fit the character of our home but was pleasantly surprised to find a nice boathouse design complete with a cupola and weather vane. Not custom built, but considerably more character than that of the ubiquitous Dutch barn.

She was right; they finished the shed in one day. We painted it to match the house, which incidentally, took longer than it did to build. I completely filled the 8’x12’ structure and still had more stuff on the porch, so I decided to build a small lean-to garden shed. I planned it to fit a 4’x 8’ footprint, so laying it out was simple. I framed and sheathed it in one day. We took Sunday off to attend the Blessing of the Fleet at Alhambra Hall, the annual Shrimp Season kickoff in Mt Pleasant. We met up with friends and had a great time. The weather was nice and the breeze coming in off the harbor kept the heat bearable. When we got home, I still had a few hours of daylight left, so I went ahead and shingled the roof. Although somewhat inebriated, I still managed to finish it up without falling off the structure or shooting a nail through any of my exposed digits.

Big Red !

Thanks to a coworker who didn't mind sharing his "secret spot", I landed this 26'' tailing spot friday night. I havent had that much fun in years, great company, great fishing, just an all around awesome time. I understand the reasons people closely gaurd their prized fishing spots, but for those of us lucky enough to be included in the circle of trust, the rewards are tremendous. I'd love to tell you where this is, but I wan't to fish this spot again and revealing its location just wouldn't be right. I'm sure you'll understand! Four fish in all, two trout and two big reds. As you can see from the rather grainy cell phone photo, I'm standing in knee deep water in a flooded cordgrass marsh. We were using light spinning tackle, and this cow was caught with a Berkley inshore tube jig like this: