John Carneys 101 tips for living

• You should never have to match your socks, other than to separate black from white; buy 18 pairs of identical socks in each color and throw them all out every six months.
• Pants with pleats get cuffs; pants without, do not.
• Avoid large faced watches if you have thin wrists.
• Sunglasses may only be worn indoors after 1 a.m.
• Carry around those small bottles of hand sanitizer and use some before you eat.
• Business casual was invented to prevent younger people from dressing better than their bosses. Rebel and wear a suit or jeans.
• If you need to put stuff in your hair to add shine or hold, you are washing your hair too often.
• Yes, you do have to floss.
• If you are handling a small baggy in a bathroom stall, face away from the open toilet and you will never drop it in there.
• When a friend calls after a drunken night, never say, “You were so funny.”
• Avoid staying out past midnight three nights in a row.
• You can ignore the three-night rule if something really good comes up on the third night.
• You will regret your tattoos.
• If you wear a baseball cap in bars, the girls will suspect you are bald.
• Go to more baseball games.
• Time is too short to do your own laundry.
• When the bartender asks, you should already know what you are ordering.
• Learn how to speak before groups.
• An undershirt will prevent you from perspiring through your overshirt.
• Yes, you do have to go to the gym.
• Complaining about other people smoking makes you an ass.
• Stop talking about where you went to college.
• When people don’t invite you to parties, you really shouldn’t go.
• Sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
• You can ignore those rules about parties if it is a really, really good party.
• Drink plenty of coffee.
• People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
• When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
• Tip more than you should.
• If a book is too big to carry around comfortably, cut it up and carry the pages you can read.
• Yes, you do have to have your shoes shined.
• It’s okay to arrive late.
• You probably use your cell phone too often and at the wrong moments.
• Do not spend very much money on sunglasses or umbrellas. You will lose them quickly.
• Do thirty-push ups before you shower each morning.
• Eat brunch with friends every other weekend.
• Be a regular at a bar.
• Read more. And not just biographies.
• If her friends hate you, it’s over.
• A glass of wine with lunch will not ruin your day.
• It’s better if old men cut your hair. They should charge less than $20.
• If you smoke pot, you probably smoke too much.
• Learn how to fly-fish.
• Ask for a salad instead of fries.
• Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them. Ask someone for an introduction.
• You cannot always make amends with people.
• Buy furniture that you think is too small for your apartment. It isn’t.
• Cobblers will save your shoes.
• Figure out what kind of knot you like in your ties and stick with it.
• The first round of drinks is on you.
• When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
• Hang your clothes up when you take them off.
• Except sweaters. Those get folded.
• Piercings are liabilities in fights.
• You’ll regret much more the things you didn’t do than the things you did.
• Do not buy the product insurance.
  Except for mobile phones. Always insure the phone.
• Celebrate mothers on Father’s Day, and fathers on Mother’s Day.
• You may remove your jacket and roll up your sleeves. The tie may not be loosened.
• It’s not that you’re unphotogenic. That’s just how you look.
• Do not use an electric razor.
• Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
• Keep rugs and carpets to a minimum.
• Carry a pocket knife.
• Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.
• Subscribe to a small-circulation magazine.
• It should have a cork-screw. The knife. Not the magazine.
• One girlfriend is probably enough.
• After one day of hanging, your tie should be rolled and placed in a drawer.
• People will dance if the music is loud enough and the lights are dim enough. You should too.
• Throw parties. But don’t clean up during or after your party. Hire someone else to come do that the next day, which you’ll be spending somewhere else.
• You may only request one song from the DJ.
• Take pictures. One day it will be fun to laugh at them.
• When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them.
• And spend money to acquire their work.
• Sleep outdoors when you can.
• Your clothes do not match. They go together.
• Yes, you do have to buy her dinner.
• Staying angry is a waste of energy.
• Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.
• Go to the theater.
• Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
• Ask cab drivers not to speak on the phone.
• When the bouncer says it’s time for you to leave, it is.
• Do not make a second date while you are still on your first.
• Avoid the “last” glass of whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.
• If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid very loud clubs.
• Drink outdoors.
• Drink during the day.
• Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
• If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
• You should probably walk away anyway.
• See more bands than you have been recently.
• You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
• Place-dropping is worse than name dropping.
• The New Yorker is not a high-brow magazine.
• You aren’t really a great DJ. Those people are dancing because they are drunk.
• Don’t let that discourage you. If they’re having fun, you are doing your job.
• If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
• No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
• Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can eat at the bar.
• Get out of the city every now and then.
• The parties you miss won’t miss you. And you won’t really miss them either.
• Never date an ex of your friend.

Reclaiming the porch

My wife and I have a punch list a mile long. The remodel has taken its toll on us both physically as well as financially. The momentum has slowed over the winter, but with the mild weather we have experienced recently we thought we would refocus our efforts to the outdoor spaces. Our grounds are really nice, with mature indigenous plantings covering most of the lot. We have camellias, azaleas, hydrangeas, jasmine and honeysuckle growing everywhere. Wisteria covers the entire canopy. We also have the largest Sycamore tree in town, as well as several Live Oaks, a Bald Cyprus, and two huge Magnolia trees. And in keeping with the Carolina tradition, we have a nice Palmetto tree out back. Since we converted the garage into our office space, all of those things you might normally find in ones garage have resided on our screen porch… for two years.

The screen porch was one of the biggest attractions for us when we purchased the property, but with no real storage alternatives we have yet to enjoy it. Our lawn tools have been rusting under the eaves of the house and I kept a large galvanized tub over my mower. The kid’s bikes have long since been consumed by the elements. Our goal has been to create some storage and reclaim our screen porch. As soon as I had saved enough money I began researching shed plans, but my initial idea of building my own storage shed was overruled by my wife who argued that it would take me the entire summer to complete. She insisted we could have it finished in a weekend for just a few hundred dollars more if we opted to purchase it from one of the home centers. I feared that the campy barn designs would not fit the character of our home but was pleasantly surprised to find a nice boathouse design complete with a cupola and weather vane. Not custom built, but considerably more character than that of the ubiquitous Dutch barn.

She was right; they finished the shed in one day. We painted it to match the house, which incidentally, took longer than it did to build. I completely filled the 8’x12’ structure and still had more stuff on the porch, so I decided to build a small lean-to garden shed. I planned it to fit a 4’x 8’ footprint, so laying it out was simple. I framed and sheathed it in one day. We took Sunday off to attend the Blessing of the Fleet at Alhambra Hall, the annual Shrimp Season kickoff in Mt Pleasant. We met up with friends and had a great time. The weather was nice and the breeze coming in off the harbor kept the heat bearable. When we got home, I still had a few hours of daylight left, so I went ahead and shingled the roof. Although somewhat inebriated, I still managed to finish it up without falling off the structure or shooting a nail through any of my exposed digits.

Big Red !

Thanks to a coworker who didn't mind sharing his "secret spot", I landed this 26'' tailing spot friday night. I havent had that much fun in years, great company, great fishing, just an all around awesome time. I understand the reasons people closely gaurd their prized fishing spots, but for those of us lucky enough to be included in the circle of trust, the rewards are tremendous. I'd love to tell you where this is, but I wan't to fish this spot again and revealing its location just wouldn't be right. I'm sure you'll understand! Four fish in all, two trout and two big reds. As you can see from the rather grainy cell phone photo, I'm standing in knee deep water in a flooded cordgrass marsh. We were using light spinning tackle, and this cow was caught with a Berkley inshore tube jig like this:

Fax Router

OK, so here was the problem...SWI Diagnostics is a mobile company, a small and limited staff mobile company at that. As a result, we rely heavily on technology to help us keep our heads above water. Our work flow for final reports simply wasn't working. The studies themselves were transmited securely enough through a VPN tunnel using a DICOM compliant PACS system, but the technologist's worksheet had to be faxed to the reading physician separately. The radiologist would dictate the study and send the dictation file to the transcriptionist, who would then send the final back to the radiologist for his digital signature. Only then would the final report be sent back to us, at which time we would route it via fax back to the originating physician. It was a nightmare, especially when you're on the road doing studies, as far away from the fax machine as you can get. I needed to be able to route incoming faxes to an email account as a PDF attachment, and there are plenty of Internet fax services out there that will do that for you for a price. eFax is around sixteen bucks a month plus something like seventy cents a sheet. With any volume that solution would quickly add up to more than we were willing to spend. The Fax Services Manager available in Microsoft Server 2003 and SBS will also route faxes via SMTP gateways, but that also seemed like a bit of an extreme since I was running XP pro on every machine in my network. Mixed clients don't work well for Microsoft. So, whats the answer here? Write our own fax router of course. Which is exactly what I set out to do over the weekend. The windows fax console embedded in XP SP2 seemed to send and receive faxes just fine, and it placed the converted tiff file in a directory of my choosing with just a few out of the box configurations. My solution was to develop a windows service using visual studio that would essentially invoke a filesystemwatcher component on the incoming fax directory that I set up during the fax console initial configuration. Whenever a new file arrived in the folder, I would capture the file name and pass it as a parameter to a simple smtp function I wrote to route the file as an email attachment to any address I specified. I used the System.Net.Mail namespace to accomplish this. Also, I used the GMail smtp server since I don't run the mail protocol on my machines. It works great. Our techs are now able to receive faxed orders on their mobile devices, regardless of where they are. I am working on a module to evaluate the fax header information in order to develop routing rules so that I can use the application to automatically send a carbon copy fax to the referring physician as soon as we receive the incoming fax of the final report. This is a huge step forward for our operation, and I'd be happy to post the source code for anyone who might be interested in the router. It is fully configurable and uses a modest xml file to store its connection parameters.

Best Damn Tee Shirts EVER!!!

Cougar Hunter...Thats funny. I'm get 'in dat. Oh, and Americas Hat? Yeah, luvin it like McLuvin.

DixieLand Delight Tour...The DDT

Dixeland Delight is the story of sports columnist and lifelong UT fan, Clay Travis, who visited all 12 SEC stadiums in the fall of 2006 to truly experience, understand and appreciate college football in the South. The result is an entertaing and if I dare say, even enlightening look at the South, it's football, and its history. Hell you may even learn something useful, like say that Mississippi State fans love their cowbells, or that Auburn tailgaters offer moonshine, and according to Jamie, that Georgia co-eds have fake boobs. Clay’s travels meander over nine southern states, he's smart...a Vanderbilt Law School alum, but he's also funny as hell. Remember, this is a guy who a few years ago went on a pudding-only diet in protest of the NFL not televising games in the US Virgin Islands. His writing style is witty but not pretentious, and he's got an assload of knowledge of SEC football. SEC or not, if you call yourself a fan, pick up a copy of "Dixieland Delight" today.

"Travis grew up a University of Tennessee football fan, and it was clear early on he would remain one for his entire life. That's typical in the Southeastern Conference, where football on Saturdays is about as natural as butter on toast. Travis takes us with him as he chronicles the 2006 season on the SEC bandwagon. Armed with only a copy of the Volunteers' 12-game schedule, he follows the team's path, determined to wing it when it comes to finding game tickets and places to sleep along the way. Travis coins his journey the DDT (Dixieland Delight Tour) and records his impressions one week at time. Summing up his more than 8,000 miles of road traveled, Travis shares his "Lessons from the DDT," 18 nuggets of wisdom such as "No matter what fan base you're a part of, at least 15 percent of your fans suck. Really suck." There's plenty of football in these pages, but it's the irreverent attitude and willingness to make fun of one's own obsessions that give the account its zip." Wilkens, Mary Frances

Porch for the side entrance

Here is the finished porch we built for the office. This started out as replacing a glass paned raised panel entry door that had seen better days. It was a security problem more than anything else. There was no real door frame, it seemed the frame was built around the door, which was out of square. I actually ruined a good door blank trying to cut it down to fit the opening. I finaly relented and just rebuilt the rough opening correctly.

The Jack and Jill bathroom...Finally!!!

So, I've finally finished the bathroom. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Actually, this has been done for some time, I just havent gotten around to posting the finished product. As a testiment to to usefulness of this new layout, I didn't even tidy up before shooting these...I swear. I did move the clothes hamper though. The addition of the linen closet was the best thing we could have done, and converting the space into the Jack and Jill layout between the kids bedrooms was a stroke of genious if I do say so myself!

The Crescent Recommends the 03 Merlot

I’m often asked my opinion on the mundane. What I think of this or how I feel about that…as if my judgment actually comes from some sort of rational thought. Sometimes the query is for an introspective contemplation on topics of a much deeper nature; politics, social injustice, or perhaps even religion. I rarely indulge...preferring instead to stick with self reflections no deeper than that of my favorite pop-tart flavor. It doesn’t mean that I’m shallow. To the contrary; In fact, I think you can learn equally as much about a personality by studying ones obscenely ordinary preferences. Equally as much as, lets say...watching one stumble to cohesively articulate a much less mundane political view. With that, I’ve compiled a list of completely trivial things I’m currently very high on and thus fully recommend...

Wilco
I thoroughly enjoy the Sky Blue Sky release. I wish I could play guitar.

The best of Craig’s list.
Absolutely hysterical shit. If you find yourself in need of a good laugh, and you will, there’s no better pick-me-up than the best of Craigslist.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
A true American masterpiece. I have heard that Hollywood has been trying to adapt the Pulitzer Prize winning novel into a movie since the early 1980’s. I hope that Toole’s curse will hold out so that the literary version won’t be tarnished by the likes of Will Ferrell.

Andolinies Pizza. Period.

Betts Brand Super Pro Cast Nets
The best there is, designed by master craftsmen. This isn't your Wal-Mart variety castnet. Cast like a Frisbee, open it every time, sinks like a rock.

Blanton’s Single Barrel Kentucky Bourbon
Pricey but not pretentious. Smmmooothh, but please…no soda. Ice or water only.

Winter Reds in the Wando, North of Denton’s Shipyard
Nothing like pulling in a half dozen or so double deuces on cut mullet to get your blood pumping.

Charmin with Aloe.
No cheap shit tickets. I’ve reached a point in my life where I can splurge a little. It’s not like the stuff is gold plated, but it makes a difference that I’m willing to pay extra for.

The Triangle in Avondale.
Mmmmmmmm. Great for brunch on Sunday. Try the French toast, its awesome…best Bloody Marys off the peninsula or you can express your gayness with the bottomless mimosas for $10 with an entree.

Amy Sedaris
I loved her in "Strangers with Candy", but the bootleg you-tubage featuring her "I like You" book tour is insane. Her brother David’s not bad either. I read "Me talk pretty one day" while on the plane to Jacksonville. I enjoyed it, but felt awkwardly insecure reading it in public. I folded the cover around toward the inside. Funny thing…I liked it so much I did one of those "if you like David Sedaris you'll love so and so" searches on Google. I found Augusten Burroughs' "Running with scissors". Also uncomfortably gay. Better to just tear the damn cover off of that one.

Zaxbys
The grilled chicken sandwich meal is an excellent bargain at $4.99 plus tax. Swap the honey mustard for Zax sauce though. It’s on the weekday lunch rounds. Makes a good Tuesday or Wednesday.

Scrabble.
I love scrabble. I use to play the venerable board game with my mother when I was younger. I learned the art of placing the "q" on the triple letter score square at an early age. I rediscovered scrabble over a bottle of good bourbon with my wife a few years ago. We were staying at the beach. The weather had turned bad. The power was out and all we had were the paperbacks and board games that filled the built-ins of our rental; remnants from the many years of past guest. We set up shop and played by candlelight on the screened porch. The wind that was whipped up by the late afternoon thunderstorm rattled the overgrown myrtles shading the property and made the experience that much more memorable. We still play scrabble when it rains.

Free Advice! Free Advice!

If you’re considering self employment let me be the first to say - go for it man. It can be the most rewarding thing you will ever do. It could also be the biggest pain in your ass you’ll ever experience, and I mean the large inmate, prison rape kind of pain in the ass. I've been doing this for some time, and believe me; I've made my share of mistakes. I've also stumbled across a good decision here and there. So, since I'm in a generous sort of mood, I've decided to compile some choice nuggets for those of you who have either recently started a business or are considering taking the proverbial leap of faith. Consider this free advice, wisdom from lessons learned if you will.

First, if you're a small business owner, you already know (or should already know) that one of your greatest challenges is the challenge of providing value to your customer at all times. Now, that value can either be real or perceived. You can over analyze that statement all you want, but the fact is that in the end, you want people to feel like they are getting their moneys worth, or at least that they leave feeling as if they were treated better than they would have been treated had they gone to see your competitor. I use the word "feel" for a reason, because honestly, you could care less how their experience would have been across the street. You just want them to think it’s always a better experience at your place. That doesn't mean you get an open license to publicly blast your competition in front of potential customers. In fact, that angle more often than not backfires, and it makes you look like an asshat. Between true value and perceived value, perceived value is the most ubiquitous. Wanna know why Americans are so damn fat? Because Outback and Applebee’s and TGI Fridays and Bennegan’s and O'Charlies have all figured out that by serving you big ass portions, portions that you cant possibly eat in one sitting, they are creating a very lucrative perceived value. You, the fat ass customer, end up thinking that you're getting more for your money. More than let’s say, if you had gone to Olive Garden. Hey, here’s a thought... maybe that endless salad bowl isn't such a bad idea after all. Anyway, the point is that the perception of value is often more powerful than value itself. Why? Because it doesn't cost Chili's squat to heap on an extra pound of mashed potatoes, even if it ends up in the trash. They will gain so much more when you leave feeling fat and happy. You'll gain a few things too, by the way.

Second, as a rule, don’t ever misrepresent yourself, your experience, your service, or anything about your business. In short, cut the bullshit. People hate bullshit. I mean, you would think that one is common sense, but then again maybe collective wisdom isn't really as common as it should be. So it’s not surprising that we're a victim of shit slinging more often than we should be. If you're the a owner of a small business hocking goods or services to the general public, and it's just you, I mean...just you as in no other employees or help, do us all a favor and refrain from using misleading statements such as "we" offer the best blah, blah, blah or "our team of qualified professionals". If you're a sole proprietor-- and the only one on the job, just say so. There’s no shame in being an owner operator. People often make that mistake because they think it's always better to portray some sort of image that their company is larger or more established than it really is. Don't do it! It's disingenuous and retarded. Imagine meeting your soul mate online. (I know it's a goofy analogy, but humor me here...) Imagine meeting someone, I mean really meeting "the one". You guys hit it off right away and start chatting it up every day for months. You tell each other everything. You have really fallen for each other. Then one day she tells you that she's really into you and wants to meet in person. Problem is, those were Jude Law's abs in that shirtless photo you sent her of yourself back on day two. Nice job asshat. Now what?? It's the same thing with your business. What happens when your "extensive resources" can't deliver because YOU'RE SICK??? What happens when your "eager staff" has to pick up YOU'RE KIDS??

Lastly, don't give your shit away. TIME IS MONEY, if you've spent time on it, charge for it! I have a friend who's a high-end trim carpenter. I'm talking about a real old school craftsman. The kind of stuff where the crown and baseboards fit so tight that no caulk is needed. He also builds custom wood shutters, those Spanish Cedar Bermuda beauties you often find on historically correct eighteenth century houses on Tradd Street. He told me once that some competitors confronted him at a jobsite on the peninsula and angrily asked him how he got away with charging so much. He told them that value is not the same as price. Value is what someone is willing to pay for something, if that something happens to be perceived to be of a higher value, it will command a higher price. Over the years he had created the perception of being the very best. Are their others just as good? Sure there are... but this is the guy that built those custom mahogany bookshelves over on their buddies Edisto Island Estate. He has created a perception of value every bit as lucrative as that pound of mashed potatoes they heap on your big ass extra value meal.

New DICOM Compression and Transfer Server

So, for the last two weeks or so a friend and I have been working on a secure file transfer server to host connections from mobile ultrasound units across the state. The initial problem revolved around the DICOM protocol itself...bulky and bandwidth intensive. Even with 512 up, it was taking 15-20 minutes to submit one study to our Radiologist in the upstate. As we continue to grow, the limitation becomes more and more restrictive. The design we came up with is ingeniously simple...move the entire DICOM directory directly from the modality onto a laptop via a crossover cable and a DICOM SCU association, since its local it's relatively quick. Once stored on the laptops file system, the user will open our secure client. The client has three simple operations: Connect, Transfer, and Upload reports. Its' what goes on behind the scenes that is critical. We wanted to be able to access the file system of our remote Server at our home office from each mobile client. All transferred data is strongly encrypted, and for optimal bandwidth utilization the uploaded/downloaded files are compressed/decompressed transparently during the transmission. The standard FTP protocol seems to be too limited and slow. We built in low-level access to the remote files as if they were local. Essentially, the client zips up the entire DICOM directory, connects to a secure FTP server, transfers the ZIP file, and closes the connection. The Server decrypts the file and unzips the file, recreating the DICOM directory on the host server. the PACS server points to the shared directory behind the firewall. Typical files get around 46% compression, and the transfer time is cut from nearly 20 minutes down to about 4 minutes. We tested with a four hop trace route and a 280Mb compressed file. Extreme performance. Most of the low level file sharing and encryption is using the BigSpeed component.

New site is up...

As many of you know, we have been transforming our business from an elective 3D ultrasound service into a full diagnostic Mobile IDTF. The process has been slow but deliberate, and we have made great progress both in refining our service value, as well as in getting the word out. We have some very good physicians on board and we are pleased with the transformation to date. I had set initial goals to bring on additional accounts, as well as to branch out into the sub-specialty area of musculoskeletal ultrasound. MSK, as it is known, is an incredible asset to orthopedic surgeons in the real-time evaluation of procedural efficacy. Think of rotator cuff range of motion evaluations after surgery, in stunning 3D clarity. By combining MSK, Vascular, and general ultrasound services along with Per Diem technical coverage and accreditation support services, the doors are wide open for growth. We also changed our corporate image and have adopted a new more professional look and feel. Our website has also been transformed by this new and improved attitude. Take a look at it here. I'll have to give the credit there to my friend and long time colleague, Larry Collete. Larry and family will be making the move to South Korea soon, and we'll miss him while he's away on his far east adventure. Thanks Again Zonka.

Overdue update

OK, I've been pretty lame about posting lately. We've just been so busy that I haven't had the time. In my own defense, I actually got back into the swing of things and began working on the house again. The project list has narrowed some as we were able to knock out most of those smaller efforts that have been lingering around. I've found that I have to ease myself back into home improvement projects; like maybe replacing that threshold before jumping head first into a bathroom remodel. They weren’t all straight off of the minor punch list though, some big projects got completed in the blog-hiatus as well. We had new Pella replacement windows installed throughout the house. The difference is remarkable, both in aesthetics as well as efficiency. I also added a porch to the side door of the office, oh, and I replaced the door and repainted too. That one little entry doesn’t do the porch effort any justice though, we had to replace a considerable amount of rotten siding and do a whole bunch of prep work to make that happen. The stairs were repainted and the railing was completely rebuilt. I also designed and built a custom lattice screen for under the stairs. I'll post after pictures soon; I didn't shoot any images of the work in progress. I also completed fiberglassing the pirogue, well, mostly. I still have a little finishing work to do on that. I installed recessed lights in the parlor, and began the Jack and Jill bath that I have been avoiding for six months. I will take before and after pictures of that effort since we have already purchased most of the materials and I feel pretty comfortable that we won't be winging the design. I'm glad to actually see progress again. I think the windows have inspired me. We have actually made a wants vs needs list, itemized and budgeted the remaining work. I think we can finish for 12 to 15k. That will include a storage shed out back for the lawn tools, and a nice double layer deck wich a nice gas grill and custom lighting on the skirt. The back forty will also be landscaped. I'm also going to install double interior French doors to separate the living room from the office. The old house is really starting to come together, finally. I'm going to go home and shoot some pictures, and I promise to be more diligent in my posting.

End of an Era

The venerable Bob Barker is calling it quits as the host of the Price is Right after thirty five years presiding over the showcase showdown. At eighty two, Barker reportedly said he wanted to "retire while he was still young". I have fond memories of the Price is Right, not necessarily the show itself, but all that it represented; that nostalgia of the seventies. If the Price is Right was on, you were either A: Out of School for some reason or B: On Summer Break. I remember when he finally decided to embrace his age and quit dying his hair that Ricky Riccardo Black. I remember all those Cal state college girls bouncing down the aisle as the next contestant on the Price is Right. They always won the T-Topped Monte Carlo, because who knew the price of LaChoy Ramein Noodles better than a college student? Ahhh. Good Times. God's Speed Bob.

Pirogue History

Since I began building my Bayou Pirogue, I have become increasingly more inquisitive about the history of the watercraft and it's use in the coastal south. As it turns out, there is quite a bit of heritage attached to these flat bottomed, shallow drafting craft. In fact, according to research compiled by the Army Corp of Engineers, the boats were infamous in Louisiana waterways during the Cival War. Before attacking Confederate Fort Burton, Union troops raided the nearby basin, confiscating sugar, molasses, cotton and firearms from Bayou residents. These raids by Union troops became increasingly frequent and made life more difficult for the local residents.

Union forces defeated the Confederates at Bisland, Grand Lake and Fort Burton in the spring of 1863, giving them control of the surrounding waterways wherever they could operate armored gunboats, and the Confederates could not match the firepower of these Vessels. Even with this advantage, though, Confederate guerrilla forces, as well as jayhawkers and smugglers, constantly harassed the Union forces, especially in the summer of 1864. Jayhawkers were roaming bands of deserters, draft dodgers and criminals who infested much of the backwater Bayous of Louisiana during the last three years of the war. Confederate irregular forces used the familiar terrain of the basin to their advantage, relying upon pirogues, skiffs and horses in their hit and-run forays against the federals. To deal with these problems, the Union command decided to destroy all ferries, bridges and boats in the basin as well as confiscate all contraband goods. Anything not produced locally, including flour, salt and other staples, became unavailable to residents. These policies antagonized local Union sympathizers and hindered the collection of intelligence. In November 1864, the Union command conceded that small loyal planters in the basin could keep their pirogues if they were hidden at night from "guerrilla thieves".
I am taking my time in the construction of my Cyprus Pirogue. I have decided to include chine blocks on the interior for the added stability. I want to be able to maneuver the boat with a punt while standing. I've decided that the lower Edisto past Parkers Ferry will be where the pirogue makes her maiden voyage. Hopefully it will be completed by the time we take our annual vacation to Edisto Island in the later part of June. I'm going to add fore and aft decks as well as a keel strip to increase its stability. It is widely known that the Pirogue is a "tricky" boat, meaning one might get wet while learning to pilot it standing up. I'm experienced in a canoe, so using the eddies and current of the Edisto to my advantage is something I am fully capable of, but tossing an eight foot cast net off the bow of a flat bottom boat less that 28'' wide and 10'' deep is not a challenge for the faint at heart. Trying it out at dead low tide in June is the most prudent plan, of course my kids will video tape the whole ordeal in case the inevitable happens and I go over the side with the first cast.

Networking DICOM enabled devices

Over the last few weeks I have been working with our Radiologists' IT guy, Randy, to optimize the virtual private network (VPN) between our PACS servers. The initial configuration has been working in a pull mode, but now we finally have a true point to point secure network. Sean, a colleague of mine from SPAWAR helped design the network. He has a ton of experience designing network security systems for both ship and shore based applications. Another SPAWAR guy we know, a true old school network engineer, has been developing teleradiology solutions for Navy Medicine since the technology emerged. Actually, Navy Medicine is one of my largest sponsors, so I also have a great deal of experience with the nuances and overarching regulatory requirements for medical networks. Just as it is for a small branch medical clinic in the military, if a small civilian family practice wanted to get into telemedicine or teleradiology, there would be very few options out there without going through the big box vendors like GE or Phillips. We find that in the defense environment, even though the medical activities rely heavily on technology, they do not have the resources required to implement information assurance and security effectively. After all, Information Technology isn't their core competency; medicine is. That's where commands like SPAWAR come in. We have the experience and know-how to integrate common off the shelf products to create a layered network protection strategy. We can help the medical commands insure HIPAA compliance. We figured the same holds true for private practice in the civilian world, even for small rural hospitals. We have been kicking around the idea of doing some consulting work through SWI diagnostics, my wife’s LLC. Her customer base is heavily rural, and initial conversations with some of these folks have generated a very positive reception. Although we may initially have to drive to Georgetown to reboot a print server for fifty bucks, we will eventually open the door to an array of future support functions, including helping rural practices go digital and securely connecting them to the outside world. Second opinions from university hospital specialist are only a click away.

Wall of Mediocrity

I ran across an interesting article in Slate magazine last week about unwitting parents who lavish their offspring with praise, even at the most mundane accomplishment. It has been a pet-peeve of mine for years, ever since my son’s first tee-ball practice. All of the "Oh, your soooo Awesomes" have taken a toll on me. I have no problem giving praise when it's warranted, but I've always thought that bombarding your kids with undeserved praise was more than a disservice, but a detrimental travesty that would eventually lead to some sort of group therapy. I got a good laugh out of Greg Fockers "Wall of Gaylord" in the movie "Meet the Fockers", where the mediocrity of Ben Stillers character was celebrated as spirited achievement in a shrine-like display erected by his father. This subject has always touched a nerve with me, and unfortunately in our society the behavior has become more ubiquitous. You see it everywhere...Parents showering praise for even the most meager of efforts. I know so many people like this, it turns my stomach. Here is an excerpt from the article:

The Wall Street Journal reported last month on the travails of employers faced with twenty- and thirtysomethings who've been told how brilliant and wonderful and special they are all their lives. The article tells of a consultant who counsels a manager to praise young employees for showing up on time after a pattern of lateness. How does one conjure a compliment out of "pathetic" and "entitled"? A personality test for narcissism given to college students every year shows an inexorable rise, with today's students being on average 30 percent more narcissistic than the students of 1982. Substitute "self-esteem" for "narcissism" and the results suddenly look rosy, but you simply can't, because all the $10 trophies and the lavish praise of mediocrity, or even failure, doesn't really bolster kids' self-worth. They drink the Kool-Aid, but they also know it.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck concluded that it's not praise itself that's the problem, but rather the kind of praise we pile on our kids. You’ve heard it a million times, “you’re soo smart” or “you’re the best player on the team!”, when what we should be praising is the hard work and the effort. Dweck speculates that if you tell a kid he's smart , the only place he's got to go is down, thereby avoiding challenges and freezing at the thought of failure, but tell him you admire his determination and he'll keep plugging away, bettering himself in the process.

Boat Fever

I am a huge fan of wooden boats, so the Charleston Maritime festival this weekend is definitely on my to do list, and I have my boarding passes in hand. For several years I have attended the holy city's maritime festival and watched longingly as others participated in the family boat building event. The family boat building event introduces novices to the wonderful craft of wooden boat building, where experts mentor families as they construct a small skiff from pre-cut materials. The event culminates with a launch party. I have threatened to sign up for the event every year, but as usual, we waited until the last minute to register. The family boat building event only accommodates twenty entries, and it fills pretty quickly as one might imagine. Feeling a bit overworked and disappointed that I missed the cut again this year, I vowed to build my own wooden boat. This was no overnight decision. I knew what design I wanted build and have had her plans in my head for years. So, with a bit of research and a few phone calls, my son and I are well on our way to building a classic Bayou Pirogue (pronounced pee-row). The pirogue was first introduced to the bayou in the late 1600's. It is somewhat of a mystery how the pirogue got to Louisiana, but it has been there for centuries and has become a part of the Cajun heritage. Originally the pirogue was hewn from large cypress logs, some measuring more than 12 feet in diameter. The cypress log was split down the middle. Then the outside of the log was shaped to the builders liking using only an ax and an adze. After finishing the outside, it was turned over so that the insides could be "scooped" out with an adze and other chisels. I ordered measured drawings from UncleJohns.com, and a supply of epoxy resin and wood flour from http://www.raka.com/. Larry Steeves, owner of Raka, inc. was a huge help, and has built a pirogue himself. I also spent some time researching construction techniques and found that by increasing the length and width of the vessel it would be a much more stable craft. A few of the images are of Tom Hills pirogue. Constructed in North Carolina, Tom's version is a faithful derivative of the classic bayou pirogue. I have set up the sawhorses and the tailgate tent on the patio and I can't wait to get started, I'll make sure to post plenty of step by step pictures. I haven't done much fiberglass work, so this should be fun. See you guys at the festival!

Final Touches

I took a couple of hours yesterday to put the finishing touches on the new office bathroom. I'm really very pleased with the results. It turned out far better than I had hoped for. Those nice corner sinks you see in the pictures were ordered from plumbingsupply.com, and I have no problems giving them a plug here. I have ordered a lot of stuff from them in the course of our remodel and have nothing but great things to say about their service as well as their prices. Overall, as a project goes I would give this one a difficulty factor of about 6 out of 10. Not overwhelming, but not for an amateur either. It took a wide array of skills to pull off - Framing, Plumbing, Electrical, Tilework, and Finish Carpentry...not to mention the architectural design, project planning and the demolition...both concrete and interior walls. The results look awesome, it is functional, and best of all, it meets the regulatory compliance we were lacking in the original bathroom. Enjoy the photos.

Finishing the office bathroom

So after a marathon weekend roughing in the new bathroom in our office, we spent Tuesday and Wednesday evening putting the finishing touches on the new space. We installed the toilet which is always fun, the sinks, wall sconces, and all of the various bathroom accouterments. Ahhhhhh...there's nothing quite like a brand new bathroom. I guess I'll be christening the throne soon enough. Enjoy the photos.